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Skimpie's Blog

Life of a silent poet

WOMAN THROUGH OUT THE WORLD

You never asked to change you never did complain, but it’s owed to you, that the world sees you through. Growing up your dreams were wild, and you let them flow you were only a child. There were things you wanted to do, place you wanted to go and now you look back your foot print, don’t you enjoy where you once stood. To think of the time you once lived for yourself. Growing up, taking life as one big adventure. But there before you, she stood again. Another woman yet passed that stage. Whoever asked her what she wants…

 

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THAT’S ALL

All I ever wanted was to be a part of your heart and for us to be together to never be apart anyone else in the world could even compare. You are perfect and so is this love we share, we have so much more than I ever thought we would. I love you more than I thought I ever could. I promise to give you all I have to give; I bet I’ll do anything for you as long as I live. In your eyes I see our present, future, and past, by the way you look at me I know we will last. I hope that one day you will come to realize how perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

 

YOU WILL BE THERE

A slit through my heart before it mends my wonders start, in my head trying to figure out, what is this all about, why you keep secrets from me. I’m your only choice, I’m the sound that makes your voices I’m the, I make your silence heard, I help you choose your life, and I’ll be the last you with. Because if you think about it, who’s always there? “Me”, who shows they care? “Me”, who understands? “Me”, I’m in it all alone. From the start till the end I’ve been moving on my own, and from now till then I’m going to do it on my own, I realize your worst enemy is you because how many times have you hurt yourself and how many times you cried on your own. Through thick and thin in your own skin, whatever you do, you do it to you, so let’s face it the only person that will really always be there for you is yourself.

LATELY I’VE BEEN THINKING

How did we end up here, and how then will we end. How long will it take before our relationships mend? Is it fear that stands in the way, or is it words we just can’t say? Back then I wished it would last but now it’s just the past. I do believe in love just like I believe in us, I believe we could stay forever I guess that’s not very clever. Somehow it seem like being with you means giving up on everything I worked for, sometimes you mean more to me than everything in life. A little mess up I wish we would break up. Leave now and don’t turn back just keep walking away I don’t want you to see me cry. I feel like going but I’m holding your hand and I don’t plan on letting go, so if I asked would you come with me. This feels so good so real but in my head it all seems fake, is that what this is a love based on playing the fool, or something you do thinking it’s cool. I’m giving you my all I would catch you if you fall, you have my heart you have me all is there anything of you that’s mine to call. I love you I don’t trust you I need you I don’t want you. Maybe love isn’t for you and I but each time we fail why we still try. I don’t actually know what I fear but it seems s like you can do it. I want to trust just as I want you maybe in time it will all come together maybe I’ll lose you or maybe I’ll never.

 

MY PAIN

All the things we could be, you and me. Living no fear, it’s clear. We are over. I don’t really want it to end like this and I don’t think I can handle the miss of you, but it’s over we are through. As was the time when I knew you always had my back, now… no I’m stranded hanging up in the air. About to fall to the ground because you not there. Can’t get over it, can’t get over you. Falling too deep has unscrewed my heart. Messing up in every way, bring back the day. Let this come to an end. Separation is the worst. Madly in love that’s first. Move on, to what, to who, to where. Not with you, no need to be there, we established it life is unfair. I am here you are there. Miles away so you can’t hear me say…confessed to all but you, an open wound see me through. Hurts still being in love with you.

 

IN YOUR ARMS

 

Standing at the edge of the cliff looking down to the very bottom, just imagine you coming behind me…before you reach I kill the possibility I jump. Down beneath your breath I fall. My flashes before me, my heart crunches and I am such a fool. Why I kick myself I ask myself, was my life that bad?

Realization dawn my mind, I made a mistake it’s too late, still falling I wonder now what is there to find, I have left you behind. I will no more than a memory and my breath would he blown into the air till is fall again as liquid. And taking my life become so hard. Wishing for wings to go back to the start, this time around I wait for you. Just before I hit the ground I take a deep breath and shut my eyes. The horrible nightmare is over, safe in your arms warm and loved, we laid there as the sun razes beat through the window. As one we plan to keep it this way forever. A magical moment we made.

 

 

 

FADING

You don’t get life you most probably never will, you say it is unfair and judge life unaware. Without knowing the master plan, you try to make a better plan. It will overcome every plan for the master plan is the only plan, A lost soul wandering in such a cold. The world is crazy no doubt it’s bad, whenever you are hurt then time seems to drag. However stand tall never give up and fight for what you believe in, never let little worries break you because I know you stronger than that, I know you better than that, and believe in you more than that. Such a point, such a point it feels like there is no way out of, drenched in fear anticipating good will, how often does one have to be placed at such a point where there is no directions and nowhere to turn, and you knock at every door but nobody seems to hear. Suddenly the world is deafened to your cries and blinded to you red eyes.

 

FIRST “B”

A was my grade and I’ve never seen a “B”, one day after exam I was shocked at what was there to see. A big red B right before me. This was deeper than ink on a page I fell a little lower but broke even deeper. I never knew my value to grades till the day my “A” turned into a “B”. I never felt like going on, my aims were lower and then it dropped. Many have told me to try a little harder, but that never helped I guess I have given up. One “B” is all it took, and then I dropped lowed to “C” then “D” and everything in between I was never so determined to do absolutely nothing. My hopes were low; I guess I never wanted to try again. I was too afraid of disappointment. To work hard and sit on a “B” life was falling apart i had lost my “A” suddenly it seemed like “A” was my purpose. So ashamed am I of my failure I’ve never told a being of who I once was, and let them judge me by what they saw. I mean who would believe me, who do you think would believe my sad story of the painful  “B”

 

SERIOUS LOVE

Maybe I do want you to screw up… and walk away when we both had enough, but for right now; this moment, this time. I promise to love you like I’m yours and you’re mine, I try to see the future together but I’m not sure if we can make it to forever. I don’t know why, but I’m always so negative and seem so rejective… because I know you try, because when you hurt I cry… you got to look in front to know what’s up ahead, I want to chance with you, live for now and make it count. What if there isn’t an “us” in the time to come, let’s give now meaning, arm to arm. You don’t dream but I do, in my best dreams I dream of you. I’m still in the dark but I am not trying to see the light even you work so hard. I guess love changes the plan, I mean look how things happen. Like talking to a stranger, well aware of the danger but I do it anyway, cause you listen to what I say. I close my eyes so you don’t the tears, I always smile so you don’t know my fears, or maybe you do but you waiting for me to tell you. We did it more than once I gave it another chance. It’s like there is more to say but we don’t know the way. I try to push you away, you neither go nor stay. Why does it seem like my dreams are on a journey that goes nowhere, my dreams seem so filled but you’re not there. I’m singing a song I don’t know the words to, I’m dressed as a solider but I don’t know what to do, I’m fighting a war I am destined to lose, are we going to fast, have we forgotten the past, it might have not had pain, but isn’t love a building game, we all know it by its name. The guts to shoot, right now my hearts on mute. When does life make sense and confusion is past tense, how I can move on for if I lose who won. This is where I don’t say what I want to say so badly, my last note to this shattered soul who failed without a goal. Worry flecks the eye as each day goes by. It’s like the wind made you a part of my life, I didn’t see it but I felt it and now you are here. I want you to stay but I ask you not to, I want to give in but I try not to. I’m using my heart for two loving me and loving you. I know dreams don’t always come true but I still dream. I keep dreaming till the day comes that I stop breathing. And I would take on the world for all it’s put you through. Like gold in a mine like whispers to the blind. Like a shadow in the dark like a punch without a mark. I can’t remember the whole start, but please don’t break my heart, I fear that you will but I’m in love with you still. Like a school crush, I’m wasting time you’re in a rush… you want to move faster you think we running out of time. But let’s take it slow together we will get through, till one of us back down, I don’t want to lose you but maybe I do. Maybe that’s the plan, maybe I was never supposed to. I’m in trouble cause we different but we are a couple. Trap me when you do, kiss me if it’s true, hold me close to you and don’t let go until I ask you to. One road with two ends, a crazy heart race, I will only cross the finish line if destiny is mine. Lean over and look me in the eye, from many other girls “me” why?

I can never care enough so I just keep caring, like my heart keeps beating, what more to do with the time that we have… you don’t have to try to win me because you already did, I just don’t want to regret and I don’t want to forget, but enough about me this time it’s about you.

 

 

 

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